Raising Kids for Almost Free

Parenting and money are easily the two most stressful topics anybody can discuss, let alone putting them together - Yikes! However, once a baby enters the situation, money and children will inevitably join together for one giant stress filled storm of fun. Let's take a deep breath and realize that everything is going to be okay. Let's take this list one point at a time and so we cover all of our bases here.

1.) First off, preparing for a baby should always happen before the baby, starting with a healthy relationship. Obviously this isn't always the case. I didn't find out I was pregnant with my first baby until I was entering my second trimester, I was living in a different state and had been smoking marijuana and drinking every day. Uh oh? So much for this step! If you are in a relationship with the father, and in most cases, you should be as long as it's a healthy relationship, then you're off to a good start for having a baby.

2.) Obviously the second step is actually planning for a baby, again, this isn't always the case, I'm sure there are more surprise babies out there than planned, however, if you can plan for a baby you're setting a good foundation for having a stable family.

3.) Once you're pregnant, the goals for the duration for your pregnancy is to stay as healthy as you can. Eating junk food and drinking Coke everyday isn't going to be doing your or your baby any favors, you'll have a greater chance of losing your pregnancy, and not healing as quickly after birth. Also, take your prenatal, I know, they suck! However, there are little ways here and there to lessen the horrible side effects, such as trying to swallow your pill with a breakfast essential drink to coat your stomach and ease the nausea, eating before taking your pill, or even just taking the coated pill instead of the pellet.

Your second goal, besides staying as stress-free as possible, is trying to prepare for the baby that's coming - generally after 24 weeks is fine. This is the time to start getting momma's hospital bag ready and some essentials your baby will need for the first month or so.

* Side note: Momma's hospital bag should contain essential items like chapstick, hair tie, lotion, 3 changes of clothes, babies first two onesies, a bottle of water, hair brush, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, soap, razor if you're feeling ambitious. Don't worry about bringing diapers or much of anything else, the hospital will provide all of that including your babies first few newborn long sleeved shirts, hats, and gloves.

4.) Okay, now that we actually have a baby to raise, here's where we get into the actual tips! The first obvious thing your baby is going to need, is diapers. Aside from the ones the hospital gives you, now what? Hopefully before you had baby you stocked up on a few boxes of size 1 diapers, but when you do need more you have options. Cloth diapers are an investment because they can be used from infancy - toddlerhood. This makes cloth diapers a little more pricey up front, but with multiple options from velcro, snappies (yes!), bamboo inserts, cotton inserts, charcoal inserts, and so many more, you have your pick of options and they will save you thousands in that first year alone!

If washing cloth diapers aren't in your future, that's okay too, but you will be spending more. You can always go the easier route of disposables. Prepare to clutch your pearls when you see those prices. Of course like with anything else, you'll have cheaper options like Luvs ($20 for 252 diapers) or the Family Dollar brand Kidgets ($5.50 for 48 diapers). Brands like Huggies tend to be one of the most expensive choices at $40 for 168 diapers. When it comes to disposable diapers, remember they're all basically the same. Some might run a bit large, like Kidgets. Some might be a little more tight but absorbent like Huggies, others might be a happy medium but absorb faster meaning more changes sooner. Personally, my two favorites have always been Luvs and Kidgets for disposables, but I invested pretty heavily in cloth diapers to save thousands by just doing some hand washing and using baby powder to avoid rashes.

5.) The second most obvious thing your baby is going to need is milk. I am absolutely a breastfeeding advocate, if you can and are willing to do it. One thing new moms aren't told is how much breastfeeding hurts for the first month, and how much of yourself you're giving to your baby. They will rely on you solely for food, no pressure!

And while this sounds like a lot of giving to your baby, and it is, keep in mind in return your baby will be taking some of that weight gain away every time they eat. Your breast milk will provide a different milk depending on if you're feeding a male or a female, and also provides your baby with a strong immune system and antibodies when the mother is sick, pretty incredible, huh?

Obviously, fed is best, regardless of how you do it, however breastfeeding is a freebie, where as formula is extraordinarily expensive! There's a reason they lock it up and keep it up front in stores. If you don't trust the pre-made formula, I'm happy to share with you the kind I made and used with both of my sons when they were done breastfeeding, yes, pediatricians are very aware of this formula because it is so old and has been used for decades.

2 cans of evaporated milk

32 ounces of water

0.6 ml of Poly-Vi-Sol with iron

2 tablespoons Dark Karo Syrup

Large container showing ounces

Funnel or liquid measuring cup with lip for pouring

Large pot

To make:

Boil 32 ounces of water.

Add both cans of evaporated milk, shut off heat, remove from burner.

Add 2 tablespoons of Dark Karo Syrup and mix in.

Wait until mixture is warm, not hot, and add in your Poly-Vi-Sol, if your milk is too hot it'll curdle.

Pour your mixture into your storage container. You can give this to baby warm or cold, you can also freeze in bags and just thaw in warm water when you're ready so it doesn't go to waste, just like breastmilk. Safe to add to rice or oatmeal cereal when baby is ready to move onto more hearty food, or mix into bottle making sure the nipple is open enough to allow the thicker mixture through.

Side note: When it comes time for your baby to start puree baby food after the rice and oatmeal formula no longer fills them up, make your baby food yourself. It's much cheaper, healthier, and adjusts your baby better for actual food. Remember, if it tastes bad to you, it tastes bad to them!

6.) The third most obvious thing your baby is going to need is clothes. Here is where parents, especially new ones, start getting weird. Your infant does not need designer clothes, I promise! The $2 clothing shelf at Wal Mart will do the job just fine. Don't be afraid of thrift stores or yard sales either. Your baby is going to grow so fast you'll be lucky if they wear the same outfit two or three times before you find yourself struggling to fit them back into it. You can buy plenty of adorable outfits without spending your entire paycheck. Also, no, your newborn doesn't need shoes. Socks, yes, not shoes. If you think they'll match a specific outfit, fine, but your newborn isn't doing any walking, just keep them comfortable.

7.) When it comes to sleeping arrangements there's always panic, some arguing, and at least one parent overthinking it. Personally, I broke the rules and co-slept. My oldest did sleep in his bassinet and crib a good bit, but with my second it was bed only unless I was awake and then he could sleep in his bassinet. So let's discuss those sleeping options.

Believe it or not, a bassinet can run all the way up to $1,700...did your heart just stop? Don't worry, luckily that's not your only option. You can just as easily get a bassinet for $24-$70 on average. Personally I like the ones that have wheels so baby can go wherever you go. Naturally if you plan on co-sleeping you can skip this expense, but they're not a bad idea so when you do put baby down for a nap during the day they have a designated area that's safe. A crib can be found for little to nothing on sites like Craigslist - buyer beware. When you do buy a crib, there's a few different ways to go. You can buy a crib that has the changing table, multiple shelves, and converts into a big kid day bed, or you can get a standard crib that doesn't change, but when the time comes you'll be buying that toddler bed. The choice is yours. Personally, I've had the the crib with the changing table, and I only ever used it a few times, whereas my second sons crib came from Craigslist for $50 and though he never used it as a baby, we are getting a decent amount of use out of it now as a day bed.

Then there comes the second part of the conversation, that's right, we're not finished with this section yet! What about tools? Huh? That's right, additional tools like baby monitors, tablet hookups to see your baby, heartbeat monitors, breathing devices, and so on and so forth! Those are all up to you. Helpful, right? Again, I never used any of these, because my children slept in the same room as me so they weren't necessary. If your baby is sleeping in their own room away from you, you may feel much more comfortable being able to hear them or have a device that tracks their heart rate in case of a possible SIDS episode. Personally, I think this extra equipment all depends on where you plan on letting your baby sleep. Since we're going for cost effective, my vote is for baby sleeping in at least the same room, if not directly next to the bed or in bed (I know, highly frowned upon.)

8.) Bathing. This might seem like an odd one to put on this list, but when new parents start looking up baby bath tubs they might be surprised to see how many options are available. Everybody wants the best for their baby, luckily when it comes to bathing, the best of the best doesn't have to include a baby floatation device that has toys, sprinklers, lights, and music ($70, I mean, really?). Believe it or not a frugal newborn - toddler bath is only $17 at Wal Mart and they even come with an attachable sling for the baby to lay on as a newborn to keep them out of the water. If you want to go a more comfortable route, there are adorable squishy tubs that conform to your babies body and make sink baths way more appealing for around $20. If you're aiming for free, just do an old fashioned sink bath where you fill your clean sink half way with water, hold baby under their arms with one arm, and wash them with the other. Until your baby has good balance, water depth should never be able to cover their face in case they fall over.

9.) Medical Care is the largest expense for parents, there's no comparison. My husband and I have found putting $100 per pay on a work provided HSA card has made our kids medical expenses a no-brainer. HSA just means Health Spending Account, and it can be used as a debit card for any medical expenses, formula, diapers, and much more. It really takes the work out of manually saving the money and then hoping you have enough when the bill comes. You simply set up through work how much you want to go on your HSA every pay and it's done automatically, you never miss it through your pay, and it's a lifesaver.

Now besides the HSA card, there are certain things every new parent needs medically speaking.

The first is going to be a thermometer. You can of course get one for rectal temperature, which will be 0.5 to 1.0 degrees higher than an oral temperature, making it decently accurate. The armpit method will be 0.5 to 1.0 degrees lower than oral. Luckily, the forehead scanners are on point, though they are way more expensive.

The second is going to be a fever reducer, typically this will be infants Tylenol. Ask your pediatrician for correct dosage, typically for infants it will be 1.5 to 2.5 ml.

The third will be Pedialyte, a drink used to replenish electrolytes in the case of diarrhea or vomiting. If you cannot afford the Pedialyte, make Jello water and give to baby once it's completely cooled.

Nose bulb. Ugh, any parent will tell you these things are awful, yet necessary. You will need this to suck out snot when your baby starts to get sick from being exposed to all of the germs in their new world. Always squeeze the bulb first before putting in babies nose and then let go, if you don't do it this way you'll be pushing air into your babies nose instead of sucking it out.

These 4 simple things will help with most of the new parents woes and help out your doctor if they know you've tried these things first before bringing your baby in for a visit.

10.) Toys is always a big point of discussion regardless of your child's age, but especially for babies. Your babies first year isn't going to involve much playing, honestly. They mainly just watch and by the end of the first year they're just starting to get actually curious about touching, shaking, or grabbing. Your baby won't need much toy wise that first year, a simple play mat for them to lay down on and look at the stuff dangling above them is fine, same with a bouncer where they can kick their feet or swat at whatever is in front of them. Especially around Christmas parent's have the need to get their babies at least something, and that's fine! But you don't have to go crazy as your baby is far more likely to play with a box or tissue paper than they are with the actual toy you've purchased. Don't be suckered into buying the newest and best Einstein toys for babies, the chances of your infant caring at all is slim to none.

When it is time to buy actual toys, less is more. The more the toy does, the less interaction your child will have with it due to limited creative uses. Hence why you see all of these single use toys that light up, move, make noise, etc always ending up in the Goodwill pile before that one doll or car that doesn't do anything. Children need toys that encourage creative and imaginative play, so the less the toy does, the more likely your child is to interact with it. To be honest, over the years I've seen my kids play more with the less expensive toys or even ones we've found at thrift stores compared to the ones we've spent hundreds on, RIP to all of those huge play sets.

Almost done! Number 11. All of the STUFF. Ah, yes. Everything else that is needed to raise a baby like burpees, blankets, hats, gloves, socks. Luckily you're going to find that these aren't expensive items! Unless, you're trying to get designer, holiday, or specialty versions. For example, a super duper fluffy baby blanket made from wool, fleece, and has an adorable pattern on the front will run you a pretty penny. Where as with a very simple baby blanket, will run you less than half of that price and you'll probably get a pack or 2 or even 3. Simplicity is going to be your friend in these situations, and so will staying away from higher priced stores like TJ Maxx, Sears, Macy's, ANY baby store, Target, etc. Go to - here we go - places like Wal Mart, Family Dollar, a resale site like Mercari, Poshmark, or even Amazon.

Side note : The only pacifier I will ever recommend is Avent Soothie, where there's no possibility of your baby choking, and shockingly, they're $4 for a pack of 2.

Last but not least, number 12! Oh, the cost of having somebody else raise your baby. Flat out, if you're not planning on raising your baby, don't have one. A daycare, nanny, or even grandparent is not comparable to you! Your baby spent 9 months being literally attached to you, hearing every heartbeat, and falling asleep to the sound of your walking and sound of your blood swooshing around the womb. They are certainly not ready to be dumped at some place that you'll be paying (at a minimum) $1000 a month so you can go to your office job and pretend not to be totally replaceable. Time out. If you stay at home with your baby you'll be saving that expense, and trust me, it's a major one. Personal story, one of the reasons my husband found a better job that covered my income so I could stay at home, was because when we looked into multiple daycares, the cheapest one would have been my entire paycheck. What is the point? There isn't one. If you're in a stable relationship, as the mother you should be at home nurturing your baby. I understand for some women this is an insane anti-feminist rant, and they'd be clutching their pearls if they had any, and it is an anti-feminist rant. As stated, daycares, nannies, or babysitters are grossly expensive, and cannot give your baby the attention or care that you can. Not to mention the absolute horror stories that have come out over the years regarding them...we won't get into that here. Give yourself a year at home at least to bond and care for your new baby, they need you far more than your boss does.

If you follow these steps you'll be saving thousands a year on your babies needs. Heck, you'll be saving thousands alone just by breastfeeding instead of using formula! So let's say tens of thousands of dollars, I wish that was an exaggeration, but it's honestly not. Babies are the largest costs you'll have, so play it smart!