Nigger

I came across this book while browsing Barnes and Noble during my most recent visit. I had never head of Dick Gregory and was surprised when I saw he was supposedly such a big Civil Rights activist and comedian. I had never heard about him during Black History Month throughout my duration in school, nor in any presentation about African American hero's, or even in any argument regarding integration. I bought the book, obviously.

I grew up in a black majority city. Even my school, which was private, was mainly black. The "N" word isn't something that shocks me. I don't become flustered, blush, or start searching for an exit when I hear it. And trust me, I've heard it plenty. I was so used to black slang that once in my third grade glass my teacher asked us to give an example of the word, "gnaw." Naturally, I thought she meant, "naw." I raised my hand, and she regretably called on me. I remember very clearly saying, "naw is a word black people say instead of saying no." And she was dumbstruck. She stared at me with her mouth open, and like a skit from a movie, the pencil fell from her hand and the room was silent. A few heads nodded along with me. And she stammered to resume class explaining that gnaw was another word for chew. For the rest of the week I had black girls trying to jump me at recess and calling me a racist, which I didn't know what that was. Nigger was a word I heard in my own home often as well as in every day life. To me, it was just another word. It wasn't until we moved out of the city into a quiet, well-to-do neighborhood that I realized it wasn't an every day word, and it wasn't something everyone said...in fact it was a word nobody said, not even the handful of black students I went to school with.

Those weird memories flashed at me as I stared down at the cover of the book. Obscene? Or just honest? I walked through the store with this book's title facing outward curious if I'd get any odd looks at all. I didn't. Not even the cashier, who was a mixed female, cared. Which made me wonder on the drive home if that word even carried any weight to it at all. Had it truly been worn out? Or had we just been trained for years to not notice that sort of thing. To not draw attention to it in hopes that it'll go away, much like that of a complaining child or the school bully.

I did some research on Dick Gregory before I even began reading his book, unsure of what I was even looking for. I saw he was a civil rights activist, a comedian, an author, a conspiracy theorist, and even an actor. Fair enough.

I'll admit, it was hard to put this book down. Dick's childhood was heartbreaking and fascinating. He was born in St. Louis in 1932 to a mother on welfare. He described his home as being so cold in the winter you didn't even have to take your shoes off because no snow was going to melt on the floor. His father came and went as he pleased, a gambler and an alcoholic he abused Dick's mother and had multiple other families across town. There's no other way to describe Dick's childhood other than hard. A time when a boy had to grow up fast and be the man of the house before he was a man himself.

I began to realize that even though I also grew up poor, it wasn't because of my race. And that threw the entire book into perspective. I am not black. I didn't live through civil rights, segregation, Jim Crow, or slavery, and chances are good that neither did you. The most any of us can do is research, and I'm glad I found Dick Gregory to help me with that.

In High School, I was so dead set against Black History Month that I would flat out refuse to do any work regarding it. This defiance landed me in the principal's office more than once where I dared them to expel me over refusing to participate in their bullshit black history lessons. They backed down every time. If black history had been approached the way this book approaches it instead of the beating down of white people, I would have been much more receptive to it. I came across a documentary during my research called, "Walk in My Shoes" it's a free black and white documentary on YouTube. It's a much more humbling and honest view of that time period instead of, "white man evil!" And I greatly appreciated it.

It becomes apparent early on in the book that Dick had a big problem lying to everybody. He would lie to his mother to make her feel better about their situation, he lied to employers, friends, coaches, colleges, employees, and even his wife. I'd be lying if I said I didn't end up re-researching Dick's activism to see if he really did anything he claimed to do in this book down to finding him in activism pictures. I even searched for his stand up comedy, which I only found a few very short snippets of. I was relieved when I saw he wasn't a total liar, in the book anyway.

However, there were certainly some eyebrow raising areas that I can't imagine actually happened. A great example being, a black activist calling a white cop a nigger...as well as his mother - in Alabama - and the cop didn't do a single thing to him. Perhaps it did happen, but I find it hard to believe. An exaggeration is more likely.

There were plenty of times I was disgusted as a woman and a mother while reading. I don't believe Dick treated his wife well, especially after their infant son passed away - spoiler alert: He pinned her down and screamed at her asking who she would rather have dead, him or their infant son.

He claimed he was trying to shock her out of her grief so he could get back to the demonstrations down south. I think that's the fine excuse of a psychotic monster.

I did find him to be a bit narcissistic throughout the book, especially towards the end after he had made a name for himself, but I suppose you can find that same narcissism with anybody who has made it in this world, and more so those who did nothing, and I don't fault him for it.

This isn't a long book, only 209 pages. Nor is it a hard read. I honestly want to recommend this book to everybody, including those who grew up on the opposite end of this like me. This isn't a Black Panther book, or an MLK or Malcolm X book. This is not the Nation of Islam, no. This is something entirely on its own, and frankly I think it was a breath of fresh air compared to any other civil rights information I have come across.

7/10